DJ Soxxy: There was nothing as difficult as seeing my wife suffering

Popular gospel Mixmaster Jackson Kamau – better known as DJ Soxxy – has opened up about seeing his wife Ciku Kamau go through difficult labour.

The happy couple welcomed their first born Eliana Wairimu Kamau one-and-a-half years ago; and in a lengthy blog post, Soxxy sequentially narrates what transpired on the day of their offspring’s delivery.

Below is DJ Soxxy’s in-depth narration of the experience dubbed Labour Day on his blog:

“It’s 8pm and after the 9 month journey with all its ups and downs have come to this. No more cravings, mood swings and the pains and checkups will soon be over! My wife is scheduled for induction because her blood pressure has been acting up so her doctor feels it is better not to wait until full term.

“I am nervous and don’t know what to expect because of all the stories I have heard about what induction does to a lady during labour. So after some tests, she changes into one of those not so pretty hospital dresses.

“The doctor then initiates the induction around 10pm. I wish her well and head home.

“… At some point I even wished I remained in hospital with my wife even though the doctor had guaranteed that “active labour” would begin in the morning.

“By 7am the following morning I was back to the hospital to see if the baby had come already  (movies have made us believe that labour takes 30 minutes and the baby is out) I get to hospital and my wife is doing well and labour pains are progressing well. She hands me a note book and pen and my role for the day is defined; recording how long the labour pains are and how far apart the contractions are coming, while still rubbing her lower back.

“One hour turned into two, three, four and on and on. I don’t think I had been adequately prepared for this because as hours passed, I started feeling so drained and overwhelmed emotionally. Men are wired to always be in charge and offer solutions but at the labour ward all you can do is watch your loved one in pain and hope that rubbing her back will suffice.

“These moments however allowed me to appreciate my wife and all women just by seeing what they go through to bring new life to this world. I gave myself courage and soldiered on. It was particularly very uncomfortable for me to see how the doctor checks for dilation. Wah!

“After what I had seen the first time, I walked out of the labour ward for the rest of the checkups and believe you me, they were a couple. Am still wondering if there is another way they can do that.

“Five hours later, it’s 7pm and my wife has only dilated 4cm!  (For those that don’t understand why this is a big deal, for a baby to be born, a woman’s pelvic bones need to open up at least 10cm and that is what they call dilation) which meant that even after 12hours of labour, we still had a long way to go. I was emotionally drained, tired and hungry and just wished all this would come to an end. I was in unfamiliar territory and all I wanted was a break.

“God answered my prayer and at some point, our friend and midwife, Lucy Muchiri came to our rescue…

“After what seemed to be years of labour and emotional turmoil for me, the doctor finally advised that it was time for us to consider Caesarian section which would mean that now my wife would be taken to the theatre.

“The doctor’s thoughts were that since we had tried all we could to deliver the baby normally and it was not working, it seemed that something was not right and we didn’t have time to find out what it was.  His thoughts were that since at that point my wife and the baby’s heart beats were strong and consistent, if we waited longer, one of the two could get tired and hence lead to even more complications.

“I was confused and my mind had too many questions running through it. I wondered why the doctors had not anticipated the complications and why we had to wait 12 hours for them to come to this resolve. I felt wasted and depressed but I knew that everyone including the doctor had my wife’s interests at heart.

“My wife got prepared for theater and after 45 minutes under the knife, our daughter Eliana Wairimu Kamau weighing 2.4Kgs was born. I wept. I didn’t care what the world thought; I just let it all out. This moment, is a moment I will forever treasure.

“Seeing Eliana for the first time and seeing her mum finally at rest meant the world to me. Even though Eliana looked like an alien from outer space at first, I had seen many birth videos to know that’s just how they all come out “wrapped”…”