The real reasons why men are avoiding marriage

I woke up this morning to a Facebook post from my cousin. She asked: What holds a man back from committing to marriage?

According to her, many men-including Christians-are quick to date but slow to marry.

Despite being mature and financially stable, these men refuse to settle down even with women they deeply care for.

Consequently, many women are stuck in limbo. Do they stick with a wonderful boyfriend who refuses to settle down, or so they end the relationship and pursue a serious marriage partner?

As a minister of the Gospel, I found it worrying that proclaimed followers of Christ would make the cut for this one.

Sadly, the church has such men. What holds a man back from committing to marriage? I pondered over the question and I had my answer:


Absentee fathers

Many men have not been taught by their fathers how to be men. I highly believe that many fathers have thought that as long as the kid has a male organ, loves cars, explosions and the legs underneath a feminine skirt then he will be a man. So the result is many males who are still boys and know nothing of manhood.

When we employ interns, we spend months and tons of money to teach them how our companies work so that they cannot fail us and create losses.

However, when it comes to our homes, who is spending months and tons of money to teach boys to become responsible men?



Fear tells men that nobody in their family succeeded in relationships so they will never succeed in marriage. Fear tells them that they can never be sure they marry the right person.

After a previous heartbreak, some men walk around with a wall around their hearts. They date woman after woman, but they never settle down with one. They’ll say that they are not ready to get ‘tied down’, but deep inside they’re just fearful of heartbreak.

Because of this fear, these men will be non-committal in relationships. When things get serious, they will run for the hills.



Why are many mothers in our generation single? Because a man somewhere impregnated her and when the consequences arose, they loved their “freedom” more than they loved their babies and responsibilities.

It’s selfish and it’s sinful. I believe that men in our generation will be answerable to God for irresponsible sexuality they are practicing.

The problem with selfishness does not affect runaway dads only; it manifests in men who will only want to relate with a woman on their terms. If you do not dress, cook and clean the way they want, you are out the door.



A successful marriage requires work and lots of attention.  One has to deliberately strive to build a healthy relationship with their spouse, even when they don’t feel like it.

Hard work will never live in the same neighbourhood as mediocrity. Mediocrity will always looks for the shortcut with clever sounding reasons such as “times have changed.”

A brave man sticks to the right thing despite its difficulty. His persistence will only reap a happy working relationship with the woman he relates to until death do them part.



A man who borrows his ideals from a sinful world will not see the beauty of holy matrimony. The world is telling men many lies concerning marriage using whatever medium that can influence.

In mainstream entertainment men who are portrayed to be the heroes are shown shacking up with several women and living a life without consequences.

Worldliness asks, “Why should I then commit to this girl in a marriage when I can have all I need from her and still have my freedom?”

The man indulging in this will then witch-hunt for any fault in marriage to justify that it will “tie him down.”

The worldly man thinks that in having the liberty to misuse his sexuality, he is free, while in truth he is a slave- a slave to his sin and desires.

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