Why we are tracking our wives and girlfriends’ periods; men keen on menstrual cycle speak

Whether dating or married, men are giving more attention to the menstrual health of their partners. 

This trend has seen players in menstrual health innovations introduce features to support the sharing of information on period wellness. 

Couples who prefer natural birth control methods and those who are keen on conceiving have benefitted from these insights. 

Flo, a period and pregnancy tracking app, launched a feature in 2023 dubbed 'Flo for partners' that allows view-only access to the main user's romantic partner on their cycle calendar.

The partner receives insights and updates on the various stages of your cycles such as; menstruation, ovulation, pregnancy, early motherhood, and even menopause.

The app allows the woman to control the feature, and they can revoke their partner’s access any time.  

While most people welcome the feature, saying that it will create a sense of openness and awareness of women’s reproductive health, some have expressed their reservations about it, citing possibility of a ‘controlling nature’ evolving from it.   

Why men are tracking

Ken Mutuku* embraced the feature, stating that it would shed light on menstrual health. 

He notes that the stereotypes surrounding menstrual health are still prevalent, and such features are a step towards ending the period stigma. 

 “I am very open to using such a feature. I think it paves the way for communication in the sense that we (couples) are on the same page,” Mutuku says. 

“There is a lot of stereotypes surrounding women’s cycles. Men will be more empathetic towards what women go through,” he adds. 

According to Mike Gatosi*, the feature is efficient for married couples as period insights benefit them more, unlike individuals in a boyfriend-girlfriend dynamic. 

Gatosi says it facilitates effective family planning, especially in avoiding unplanned pregnancies.

“It is beneficial because it displays a sign of openness and enables easy planning to avoid ‘oops babies’ in a marriage,” he says, adding “I would not encourage it in casual relationships, but I fully support it in marriages.”

Peter Wamalwa echoed Mutuku’s remarks, saying the practice quashes various stereotypes about menstruation, like that women experience it at the end of every month or even that women are overly emotional beings.

“I am open to exploring it, especially at a time when there are so many misconceptions about menstruation and the mannerisms that women exhibit during their cycles," he says, adding that the routine helps men understand how the female body works during different seasons in their cycle.

Davies Macharia* expresses his reservations concerning the feature, noting that it paves the way for controlling behaviors in the relationship. He maintained that the woman should be the one to decide whether she would like to share her cycle with her partner.  

“I do not have a problem with it, but I would not like to be given access to the feature. I do not have to know everything about my partner. I am not a controlling person,” he says. 

He remarks that menstrual cycles are personal to women, arguing that most women would prefer not to disclose their cycles to their partners. He expresses the need for partners to be on the same page regarding whether they are open to trying out the feature.

He likened the practice to partners granting their partners access to their pay slips, stating that one can choose to disclose their salary details to their partners, although they should not have to do so involuntarily. 

What women think about it 

Mary Akoth notes that such a practice has advantages and disadvantages. 

On the positive, she mentions that men have for long been unaware of certain female reproductive conditions like Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and endometriosis. She notes that by tracking their partners’ periods, men will have more insights on such conditions. 

However, Akoth says that that some men might develop controlling tendencies for example cases where the partner could make sexual demands based on tracking partner's cycle. 

“It could be a con when the guy uses the information on the feature to demand sex even when their partner is not feeling up to it,” she says. 

In the recent past, some women have been using the excuse of ‘that time of the month’, to avoid sexual activity with their significant others. This feature scraps the excuse. 

However, Daisy Njeri maintains that women should not feel cornered to lie if there is respect in the relationship.   

“A man should be able to respect a woman’s sexual freedom, so when he asks for sexual intercourse when I am not up to it, I should not have to lie that I am on my period to escape having sex.”

“It is important that I am in sync with my partner and he understands how I am feeling. If he knows that I experience painful period cramps during my menstrual cycle, then he can be able to offer support like stack up some painkillers,” she notes.