Wananchi Opinion: The Silent Pressure of Being in Your 30s Without Kids

I turned 31 last November. No husband. No kids. Just me — living life, trying to grow, and doing my best. But somehow, it never feels like enough.

Once you hit, 30 as a woman, our society starts watching you closely. You suddenly become a person of keen interest.

Suddenly, every conversation starts to include questions like: “Na wewe hujapata mtu bado?” or “Hautaki mtoto before it’s too late?”

 It’s like there’s an invisible timer counting down above your head. To be honest, it’s draining.
You can be thriving in your career, focused on your healing, learning how to love yourself, but people will still reduce your entire existence to marriage and motherhood.

And it’s not just what people say — it’s what starts to happen inside you too.

I do want a family someday. I’ve always imagined myself as a mum. But I also don’t want to force it.

I don’t want to settle for just anyone because of pressure. Still, late at night, the thoughts creep in: What if I wait too long? What if it never happens?

That’s when I started looking into reproductive health. No one tells you this growing up — that by your early 30s, your fertility slowly starts to decline.

It’s not about fear-mongering, but it’s a fact. And the scary part is… most of us don’t know until we’re in panic mode.

I’ve found myself Googling things like “cost of egg freezing in Kenya” or “how to check fertility.”

I’ve never even had a serious sit-down with a gynaecologist — because unless you’re pregnant or unwell, no one tells you to. But I’m learning that it’s important.

We need to be more aware. We need to have these conversations early, not out of fear, but so we can make empowered choices.

Not every woman wants children, and that’s okay too. But for those of us who do, there should be space to talk openly about it without shame, without judgment, and the constant pressure.

The truth is that every woman’s journey is different. Some meet their person early. Some later. Some go the single mum route. Some adopt. Some don’t have kids at all and live beautiful, fulfilled lives.

Just because our stories don’t look like what society expects, doesn’t mean we’re failing.

Maybe we’re not late. Maybe we’re just on a different timeline, one that’s still worthy and whole.

So, here’s to all the women in their 30s feeling like time is running out:
Take a deep breath. You’re not alone. You’re not broken. You’re doing just fine.