Compassion fatigue: Kenyan woman speaks on taking care of mentally ill mother and brother

When Citizen Digital called Viona Wamuyu for an interview, she was helping her 27-year-old brother with his bath. Wamuyu is the sole caregiver of her brother and mother, both who suffer from mental illness.

She recently made a post on her social media platform that went viral; on it, she narrated the struggles she has endured as she continues to care of her mother who has schizophrenia, and her autistic brother, while working remotely as an article writer to make ends meet.

“By the time I was making that video, the burden and the trauma attached to it had severely affected my mental health,” she said.

The 35-year-old notes that her marriage ended because of fights and responsibilities triggered by the burden of care for her mentally ill family members.

“I had too many responsibilities with regards to my family, so my then partner left. I started taking care of them full time in 2013. Initially, my mother’s medication was on and off because she needs an injection every month and a pill every night,” she narrated.

Her mother’s condition and that of her brother were exacerbated by lack of the required medication.

“Without the medication, my mother goes into a different world, far away from reality. She hallucinates and has conversations with people who are not there and would always be in fear. One time, she was in involved in an altercation in Nakuru town and was taken to Nakuru Provincial General Hospital...and that is when I decided to fully take care of her,” she said.

According to Wamuyu, her mother needs food because of her heavy medication, safe environment and stability. She added that her brother equally relies on her heavily, noting that she has reached her compassion fatigue level.

She notes that taking care of two people with mental health has been tasking, and that she is currently in therapy learning how to cope with the pressure and pain afflicted on her by the state of her loved ones.

“It’s been 11 years of marathon, barely taking a break, or leaving the house for more than a day. All this has completely drained me and I am very tired but I still have to wake up every morning and make sure everyone is okay,” she explained.

Compared to her peers, Wamuyu feels left behind. She dropped out of university twice where she was pursuing international relations in order to give her family maximum care.

“I could have finished school but unfortunately, it was not possible. I did not know how to handle my brother as he grew bigger, he would throw tantrums and become very violent...when that happens, I have to hold him tight with the help of my mother until it passes...this results in her getting injured,” she said.

Since sharing her story on social media, Wamuyu notes that the Kenyan community supported her. According to her, although she needs the help, she was initially scared that people might take it the wrong way.

“People have been so kind and covered so much of my immediate needs, we have access to a psychiatrist that put my brother on some new medicine and he seems to be responding well to them, he might be joining a special school during the day,” she said.

Although she feels behind, she hopes she will finish her degree and help her family and get a better job.