MUNDE: Nanny expectations vs realities on the ground

It goes something like: when a lady is 21, she will not date a man unless he owns a house, expensive car, good job and is eye candy.

Then she reaches 25 and he doesn't need to own a house - as long as he doesn't still live with his mum. He doesn’t have to drive an expensive car, any 'decent' car will do, as well as having a decent job and a tolerable look ie, not a ‘sura personal’.

Then when the lady reaches 30, the requirement for not having a ‘sura personal’ drops and a man with a job will do.

Then at 35, the expectations drop further.

Whether the joke is a true reflection of the situation on the ground, I don’t know, because there’s also an argument that a lady’s expectations get higher, the older she gets. That is, ladies dating in their late 20s and 30s expect a man to have their stuff completely together or not bother approaching them.

I have digressed, but the point of that anecdote is to tell you how expectations can shift with nannies.

As a new mum, I was not under the impression that I would find a wonder woman in the form of a nanny.

My main goal was to find a nanny who would take care of my baby well – keeping high standards of hygiene, love and common sense.

I was not looking for a woman who is an excellent cook who could whip up elaborate meals for my baby as she transitioned to complementary feeding, could speak five languages (and teach them all to my baby), sing well, play 10 games with my baby… you get the drift.

However, if I thought I had a short list of requirements and expectations of a nanny, the realities on the ground made me realise I had to make the list even shorter.

One of the requirements I have (or should I say, had) is for our nanny to read stories to my child daily, and I bought an array of books to this end. 

However, the reality is that if we get her to read to my baby four days a week, we're doing well.

My nanny would rather sing vernacular songs to my baby.

I tried to get her to read the books to my baby more often, but it has been a tall order. I have therefore had to make do with the vernacular songs – the plus is that my baby gets excited as the nanny animatedly sings and gestures – it’s a whole show, like one of those high school drama productions.

I have previously mentioned that my nanny does some light chores in the house when not attending to my baby and that sometimes includes cooking.

I, however, had to abandon delegating this task and make do with her just chopping onions and tomatoes, because cooking is not her forte. 

These are some of the compromises I have had to make with my nanny.

However, she does her main job well – that is taking care of my baby, and that’s what counts.

Have you had to shorten your list of requirements for your nanny because of realities on the ground? Share your experiences on firsttimemumke@gmail.com

Listen to the First Time Mum Confessions Podcast here.

As always, keep doing the Johnnie Walker – keep walking the motherhood journey the best way you know.