TOM BWANA: Uganda cannot beat Kenya in football

Listen, children of East Africa; Uganda is a country. Its capital city is Kampala. That’s all we know about it when it comes to sports and football in particular.

We beat Uganda Cranes in our first match of the 2015 CECAFA Senior Challenge on Sunday the 22^nd November. Yes, the mighty Kenya walloped Uganda with a convincing 2-0 display. What a glorious weekend!

Let me tell you something, Uganda cannot beat Kenya. Not in football. Not in any sport. It is just ethically and mentally wrong to even imagine Kenya losing a match at the hands of Uganda.

When they tell you that Uganda has produced great footballers, they forget to say that Kenya solely plays a leading role in molding those players. Without Kenya how would Ugandan football be? Sam Ssimbwa, Sam Timbe and the legendary David Otti are some of their coaches whose skills we horned and elevated them to the global arena. Otti, for instance, is only famous because with Kenya’s Gor Mahia he won successive CECAFA Club Championships in the early 80s.

Without Kenya, the likes of haughty headed Jimmy Bageya, the lazy-looking Musa Mudde, the industrious Baba Kizito, the mercurial Khalid Aucho, the swift Godfrey Walusimbi and my all-time favorite Danni Ssereunkuma would not be known anywhere in the spheres of football. You see, we are the alpha and omega of Ugandan football without which Kampala has nothing to show the world.

So yes, we gloriously spanked their little backsides 2-0 in Addis Ababa. What a feeling! Uganda can chose to beat all teams they want on earth; Togo, Ghana, Cameroon, Bafana Bafana…or even Germany but when it comes to Kenya, the mighty Harambee Stars, Uganda has to respect their elders. By the way, Uganda can choose to go as far as beating a select team of Argentina and Brazil but at the mere mention of Kenya and its might they prostrate!

Beating Uganda is the easiest thing to ever come our way. Whenever we are pitted against our landlocked neighbors, we know we have the points. Even on our worst day Uganda cannot win against the mighty Kenya! I wonder why we went all that far on the Atlantic to play against Cape Verde yet we could easily cross Busia border and come back ninety minutes later victorious and glorious!

Kenya is a powerhouse in football and Uganda should know that! There’s a reason the Argentine football-loving Pope chose Kenya as his first destination before visiting Uganda. That should sink in, dear Ugandans!

Watching how Uganda Cranes cluelessly ran all over the pitch like headless chicken against the great Harambee Stars on Sunday afternoon, one only gets to wonder why we have never qualified for the World Cup.

Then Andrew Kabuura, hosting the match for Supersport TV, was a joy to watch in the post match analysis. In his full Luganda accent he said Kenya were mightier against the Cranes. Glorious!

Look here Ugandans, Kenya may be beaten by any other country but not you! That’s an agreement written, signed and sealed somewhere in the skies. Deal with it!

@TomBwana